99% spastic + 1% normal? = b for branda.
many more years dearest.
my dad snapped this unintentionally, look at my 0% camwhore knowledge's dad.

sighs branda, HAHAHAH!


Actually i should stop lying to myself. I'm not really mugging. Like physically i am, like you'll see me sitting down and reading notes, doing my work. But, my mind was occupied with another thing instead, i just gotta admit it. i just can't concentrate. my concentration span is very low, way too low. and i still have the cheek blogging and telling my friends im mugging. oh please. i never knew that was such a need to study, like fucking hard. and now im having a hard time. really bad, very bad. im feeling so stress now. The more i want to force myself to study, the more i wanna give up. But i really wanna pass o's this time and get into Tp. i shut myself from having thoughts of going out. reading everybody's blog talking about all those happening outings made me really felt sour. I wanna go out too but o's in 3mths time. sometimes, nar ,should be everytime, i always blamed myself for screwing up o's, if not my road won't be like this. i always tell my friend its alright, i'll study very hard this time round & all those optimistic shit i consoled myself. But no, i hated all this. I dont wanna screw my o's. I mind. I seriously mind why the fuck i failed o's. but i have no one to blame. And worst still, my family aint encouraging at all. My parents always tell me shit like, see la, all your friends in poly/jc already, or even more heart piercing words like my face's all gone because of you. what can i do, ive nothing to rebut. i'll just cry and cry, until my tears dries up. i know what i want, but im having a really hard time getting it. I dont know how to. the more i forced myself, it just adds on to my burden. I'm very stressed, very very stressed. It had been a week & 6days since i last talked to my mom happily. We had a fight. And all that she could do is keep shouting/ranting/ complaining to everybody about me, this useless daughter ( not because of studies). every single words she said came out with blood & sarcasm. everything's heart piercing. i just listened, to listen how cruel her words can be. this time, she just can't see nor feel my heart dripping with tears and blood. I dont know why she was so determined to be upset with me for so long. Almost everyday, i'll sit down and think , how to run away from home. Even my dad's not helping. Tell me, how to survive in your used to be cozy family when no one actually talks to you at all. & Tell me, how to run away from home without upsetting your parents.




im alright, im not gonna commit suicide. I'm just feeling low, very low.